GAMEDAY 9/13: Thirteen days to put a season back on the rails

Tennessee returns to the field this weekend to redeem themselves from the debacle thirteen days ago.  I would say the team has nowhere to go but up, but I know that losing to UAB is going further down into the abyss of SEC irrelevance.  I think that is unlikely, but it’s not impossible.  With this coaching staff, I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t win a game this season at this point.  Especially with the way that we played against UCLA … uninspired and ineffective.  I will be there in person this weekend, and I better not see that garbage from my view in Section K.  The Florida Tebow Juggernaut countdown is at ten days, and those boys in Knoxville better use this game like a damn trampoline to greatness, or we are going to get crushed.  Again.  Florida’s have scored 59 and 62 on us while Fulmer was head coach and the way Urban Meyer is beating people down in dark alleys, I think he might try for 100.  With that said, let’s hope that this weekend is the first of three Bammer teams we beat this year!  GO VOLS!!!

RECAP OF LAST WEEKEND:

Three words: EAST FREAKING CAROLINA!  They almost make me forget how bad Tennessee sucks.  Almost.  Seriously, beat a ranked team from the ACC followed the next week by a perennially overrated team from the Big East, and you’re my boy, blue purple!  I don’t say overrated to take anything away from the Pirates, because they are phenomenal right now and are getting all the credit, press, and ranking that they deserve.  THIS is how a team earns respect (AHEM … Hawaii and Boise St.), by playing good teams and beating the hell out of them.  They didn’t just beat the Mountaineers, they dominated them mountain boys!  I also thoroughly enjoyed watching Ohio State struggle (without Beanie Wells) against a weak Ohio team and watching Michigan continue to suck (their coach is still a prick).  Watching Vandy beat South Carolina was also a great time, as it always is when Spurrier gets owned.  Plus, I don’t want South Carolina running around thinking they are an elite SEC East power, and Vandy either for that matter.

Newsflash everyone: Urban Meyer is as big a jerk as I always thought he was.  From now on, he’s on notice that we better not hear any of his crybaby whining about Georgia running onto the field last year at the not-the-Cocktail-Party.  Besides, whether you agree with what Georgia did last year or not, Richt and his coaching staff have ten times the class that Meyer does.  And if I were the type of person that wished injuries on someone, I would wish that the next time Urban Meyer leaves his stars on the field when they are winning handily and/or tries to run up the score, that one of those stars is lost for the season.  But I am not that kind of person … how about the next time he tries to run up the score, the opposing coach goes to shake his hand and Meyer gets the old pretend handshake into a punch for a broken nose maneuver.  Tebow should have kept his mouth shut too, for what its worth.  He didn’t help matters by inserting his opionion, because really no one cares what he thinks about anything but how to play football.  Sic ‘em Sapp.

THIS WEEK:

This week’s games brought to you by the title that USC or Ohio State won’t win, Urban Meyer’s ego, high hopes in Vandyland, and Tennessee’s hopes of getting at least one win this year.  We got your AP rankings and all game times are Eastern.

UAB @ Tennessee (12:30/RAYCOM) – I don’t want to talk too much about this game because I have done plenty and are going to do a little more in a post coming soon.  Tennessee better smoke UAB, and if Phil knows what’s good for him, that team better look NOTHING like the team we saw two weeks ago.  Tennessee wins this one, but I don’t dare venture a guess as to how ugly it is going to be.  Oh hell, yes I will because I can’t help myself, and I will even give you a final score.  Tennessee 38 – UAB 10.  That place is going to be rocking, and like I said, it’s time to put this thing back on the rails so LET’S ROLL!!!

#14 East Carolina @ Tulane (3:00) – How about that ranking, fellas?  Nice work, Pirates!  East Carolina is about to be 3-0 and halfway to bowl eligibility (so is Vandy *SHUDDER*), and I am happy for ‘em.  Leon and Mr. Cheezestix must be really happy, and I hope they have made it to some of these games.  I also hope that they didn’t get bodyslammed by any overzealous cops while celebrating.

#2 Georgia @ South Carolina (3:30/CBS) -Spurrier’s woes continue this weekend as the mighty Bulldogs come to town.  I don’t care how many quarterbacks he plays, he doesn’t stand a chance.  And he’s without his star receiver, Kenny McKinley.  Georgia is looking great, and they will probably be looking for revenge.  That game (and one other – GO VOLS!) pretty much kept them out of the title game last year, because it hurt to lose to a team that lost like 79 games in a row at the end of the season.  Georgia will win big, and this game will be a “bloodbath” but not for the reasons Richt is insinuating.  Anyone see Knowshown Moreno laugh?  I like him a little more than I did yesterday.

Arkansas @ #8 Texas (POSTPONED) – The game is postponed until September 27, but I will give you my two cents anyway because I already wrote it.  I think Texas is going to win the game, but ole Bobby Petrino needs to pad his resume for his next job, so maybe he will surprise us.  In between checking emails from various athletic directors and professional sports teams, maybe he is actually paying attention and calling the occasional play.  I will be rooting for the Razorbacks, but Texas is probably going to wear them out.

Georgia Tech @ Virginia Tech (3:30/ABC) -What did I tell you people!  Fear the triple option!  Tech are going to take down VT this week, and they are going to win the ACC at the end of the season.  Big year for the Jackets!

Michigan @ Notre Dame (3:43/NBC) -Look at these two teams, how cute are they!  Their like ten year olds in a fistfight – they might hurt each other just a little, but in the big scheme of things, neither one can inflict any real damage.  This big rivalry has fallen to this, but I am still a little interested in the game.  I am waiting for Notre Dame to come out of his shell, and as much as I dislike Notre Dame, I would like to see them wax Rich Rodriguez.  Once Clausen (man that is one ugly family—–>) stops throwing picks, Notre Dame ought to be a solid football team.  I think Notre Dame is going to win this one.

UTC @ Florida State (3:45/ESPNU) – GO MOCS!  I almost went to UTC for college (and nearly attended the Mocs game last weekend), so they hold a special place in my heart.  That is all.

#9 Auburn @ Mississippi State (7:00/ESPN2) – Auburn is looking good after that rough first week start.  They answered my call for more passing yards with a respectable 248-yard effort by Chris Todd, and they also had 130 yards or so rushing.  Auburn’s starting to look like a balanced football team, and they even had a solid defensive effort.  Croom and the men from Starkville shouldn’t be too much of a problem, seeing as the Kodi Burns show is now going into reruns.  Like most of the SEC, the real football is ahead.  Auburn wins by 17.

Western Kentucky @ #11 Alabama (7:00/GAMEPLAN) – Alabama is ranked #11?  Seriously?  The heartbreak is coming, but it’s not this week.  That means we have to deal with all these Alabama fans incessant ramblings about God knows what … national championships, bears, and the like.  The Cover is courtesy of Mistah D.  Alabama doesn’t look like the crazygood football team they did in the Georgia Dome, so we will take a wait and see approach.

MTSU @ Kentucky (7:00/GAMEPLAN) – Here’s Patrick’s upset of the week alert (busting out the third person on ya).  You ask how I know this?  Cause I’m the damn pater familias! That’s why.  Last year I played an NCAA 07 season as MTSU and got invited to join Conference USA at the end of the season.  Too bad Kentucky can’t get demoted to Conference USA at the end of this season in real life.  Screw those guys, why did Tennessee have to get stuck with a traditional rival like Kentucky?  That’s why we love/hate Alabama, so they can fill that void.  Anyway, MTSU is going to beat Kentucky, fa sho.  MTSU in the upset – watch.

Samford @ Ole Miss (7:00) – Houston Nutt is 1-1 in Oxford, and he gets to beat up on one of Auburn’s finest before he tries to do the same to Auburn later on in the season.  Ole Miss should win this one with ease – their next meeting with some boys from Auburn isn’t going to go as smoothly.

Rice @ Vandy (7:00) -Big deal.  It used to be that I got excited about Vandy because I liked to root for them.  They were the lovable losers then, even though I guess technically they always will be.  But since that Vols loss to them in TSWDNSO, they have been harder to root for.  They win too much now, but all will be returned to its rightful order in due time (Vandy looking up at everybody).  I just don’t feel like cheering them on anymore, but I at least hope they beat those dirty Texans this week.  Rice is probably glad to get out of the way of Hurricane Ike.  I like Vandy in this one, extending their record to 3-0, which is a sign that the world wasn’t in fact going to end yesterday – it will end at about 10:00 Saturday night.  The real black (and gold) hole might form with an undefeated Vanderbilt after three weeks of play, including one SEC matchup.

North Texas @ #7 LSU (8:00/GAMEPLAN) – Two sh**holes collide when Denton comes to Baton Rouge!  WOOOOO!  Les Miles is going to be arrested for murder after this game cause it’s going to be nothing but destruction for North Texas.  God, I can’t wait til some good SEC games start.  *cough-nextweek-cough*  Hat and the boys are going to win by three touchdowns.

#5 Ohio State @ #2 USC (8:00/ABC) – Here is the game of the year thus far, and it would only be better if both teams could lose.  Hopefully we will get to watch some good football, but I have a feeling that Ohio State is going to be beaten up pretty good this weekend, so we get to laugh at them all next week.  I think Beanie Wells is back, but I can’t see how he would be that effective with his injury.  I can’t wait until Ohio State goes through a dark period, and when that day comes, I am going to be sitting over the top of Herbstreit screaming HA HA! HA HA! HA HA! HA HA!!! USC wins.

Enjoy your football this weekend, and see you same time next week.  Comments and hate mail are welcome, so have at it.

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