This edition of Weekend Roundup is brought to you by Patrick’s irrational hate of Vol Offensive Coordinators - but only after a loss, Lou Holtz’s nomination of South Carolina as the “best defense in the SEC,” and the WWL for showing me highlights since I missed just about an entire afternoon of foosball.
South Carolina at Vandy - Good grief. This was a pleasure to watch. Especially knowing that after last years loss to Vandy several of USC’s players said, “we just lost to the worst team in the SEC.” Congratulations Captain Merreemeylensereguy, that’s two years in a row. On to the good stuff. Did anyone see Spurrier’s kid? Not the offensive coordinator who couldn’t figure out the ‘Dores, but the other kid, the holder who is like 5′6 160? I got to laughing at this while watching the game – I mean does anyone else think that God hates Steve Spurrier and that’s why he gave him a son of that stature? Because I sure do. I’m ready for the Dawgs trip to Columbia next weekend. Yippy!
Central Michigan at Georgia – sure Patrick may have said, “I wouldn’t have doubted all the Georgia hype so much had I realized that they were playing a bunch of high school teams this year.” Well thank you very much Spanky. Congratulations on losing to UCLA. Did I mention that yet? Oh, and after watching the Vols, we might be playing a high school team when y’all come to town. Dawgs rolled, Moreno hurdled, and Stafford let it fly. This one went as expected.
Ohio at Ohio State – The Failboats looked dominate in this one. And Beanie Wells was such a leader. Did you see the enthusiasm on his face on the sideline? Rooting his team on even though he couldn’t play… Excuse me while I stab myself in the thigh.
Miami at Florida – This was definately more of a game then the final score indicates. In the first half Florida’s offense struggled with the speed of the Canes and couldn’t get anything going. It was a joy to watch. Then came the second half and an incomplete pass that was reviewed and somehow called a catch. I’m not sure what in the hell the referee was looking at but he was flat out wrong and that call was definately a back breaker. None of this is really important but what I want to point out is how Urban left Tebow in with a minute left, a 20 point lead, and tried to score. Urban you are a dickhead of the highest order. In fact I don’t feel bad about calling you a Grade-A cock sucker. Trying to run up the score with a minute left, get a life.
West Vagina at ECU – Yes, you read that correctly. From now on this is how I will refer to the Mountaineers. ECU simply beat the dangit out of the formerly #8 and overrated West Vagina team and continued it’s warpath against all things Virginia. I don’t know much about ECU but I’ve got a feeling that they could be the hot buy for a few more weeks. Plus Skip Holtz is Lou’s offspring. Another story line that the WWL will beat you over the head with.
Southern Miss at Auburn – Blah blah blah. I haven’t even seen a highlight from this game so I’d feel dirty if I talked about it.
Tulane at Bama – The SabanNation watched with glee as the #13 RollTidersWoo! gained an entire 38 yards in the first half. That’s a lot. In fact I can cover that much ground in under five seconds. I think. There isn’t much to say here. Congratulations you delusional rednecks, TheBear is back!!!!
SDST at Notre Dame – After hearing Lou Holtz predict that they would win 11 games this year the Fighting Irish came out and took care of San Diego State. Big deal. Now I’m going to give you 8 seconds to name the SDST mascot. Couldn’t do it could you? Me either. NBC broadcast the game and 4 people were rumored to have watched.
Pictures will start showing up in these posts as soon as I figure out how to set them up like Patrick. He puts them on the side and then types around them. Totally neato and it looks super legit. And with that the week begins. I hope all you goons have fun at work. I plan to sleep late, play outside, take long naps, and distract those of you with gchat. The real season starts next weekend. GSE! (get so excited – of course you knew that).
HAHA, it is the defensive coordinator I hate! I haven’t gotten on an offensive coordinator too bad since Sanders.
I will teach you the way of the pictures.
Urban’s playing Tebow was about as “classy” as Mark Richt sending the entire team on the feild for a touchdown last year……
Chaser, you are absolutely right. Trying to score with your heisman winning quarterback with a minute left to go and then kicking a field goal with 25 seconds left to go when up by 20 points is not so bad. It was no where near as heinous of an injustice as celebrating the psychological advantage that was established by an evil genius slipping away under CUM, or as everyone else likes to call him, the world’s biggest weasel hypocritical crybaby.
If it weren’t for Tebow being a fairly decent human being (although I don’t exactly think circumcisions are tops on the needs of third world medical needs….little weird) I think think it’s safe to say that UF is about on the same class level as serial pedophilic clown rapist. It’s not like any of your players who got suspended for firing a semi automatic rifle in a conflict were allowed to rejoin the team, or using a dead girl’s stolen credit card.
Enjoy Meyer returning Florida to the glory days of the pre spurrier era (most UF fans don’t know that they had a football team before 1990, but they’ll find out what it was like soon).
I did not watch the end of the UF-Miami game, so I may be out-of-bounds on this one. But from what I’ve heard, the field goal could be defended as a chance to get a little more practice in for the special teams. However, it seems that going for the end zone with less than a minute to play is classless. And a little dangerous…what if Timmy or another player breaks his leg on that play?
I’ve never had a problem with Florida…they are usually badass and seem to keep rage-inspiring comments to a minimum. But it seems like the past couple weeks have gotten a little out of hand (that guy talking about UF being “The U” and now this). I will say this…maybe Meyer is guarding himself for a BCS meltdown at the end of the season…I can just see Mark May (complete idiot) saying, “well, Florida only beat Miami 23-3 and USC beat Oregon State 77-3.” If Meyer did actually have in mind the “style points” that these imbeciles in charge of putting teams in the national championship look at, then it’s simply an indicator of how flawed the system is. A playoff would solve all this. And I’ve got a pretty good plan in mind if Curveballs would be interested in hearing it.
Bring on the playoff
A playoff would be so much better…then when teams run up the score to get “style points” it really will be pointless. And as for UF being “The U”…I dont know any Florida fans that would ever somehow associate with Miami (the trash hole of the state). Circumcisions not necessary??? Have you ever seen an uncircumsized male…maybe your “serial pedophilic clown rapist” has………………..