GAMEDAY 10/14/06: You lose! You get nothing! I said good day!
I want to apologize to Ash and all her fellow Georgia fans for thinking that Tennessee would score 31 points on Georgia’s defense as I predicted last week. That number was WAAAAAY too low. A Georgia defensive player said it best after the game: “I could have never seen us allowing 50 points,” Georgia defensive end Charles Johnson said. “But the way we played tonight, they could have scored 100.” GOULET!!!!!!!!!!
Last year, Tennessee was knocked out of the top ten by Georgia, so it was only fitting that Tennessee knocked Georgia out of the top ten this year. Tennessee moved up to EIGHTH, bitches! Florida is now number 2, leapfrogging USC after they had trouble beating fellow Pac-10 juggernaut (I’m the juggernaut bitch) Washington. *SARCASM*
My bold prediction of the week since I got the Auburn and Florida ones way wrong: Tennessee will not lose this Saturday [they didn't play].
Tidbits:
Erik Ainge leads the SEC in efficiency and total offense (he is 6th nationally).
Robert Meachem leads the NATION in receiving yards per game.
James Wilhoit is the SECs leading scorer.
The Vols as a team lead the SEC in these categories: passing offense (291.5 yards per game), total offense (421.5 yards per game), scoring offense (35.2 points per game), passing efficiency (175.8 rating) and tackles for loss (7.5 per game).
Tennessee has only one loss, that loss coming at the hands of the second-ranked team in the nation. And even that one was only by one point.
The Vols already have as many wins as they did all season last year. THANK YOU GOD.
Song of the week, courtesy of T-Bag on piano: ROCKY TOP!
“Once I had a girl on ROCKY TOP,
Half bear, other half cat;
Wild as a mink, but sweet as soda pop,
I still dream about that.
ROCKY TOP, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me;
Good ol’ ROCKY TOP–
ROCKY TOP Tennessee, ROCKY TOP Tennessee”
THIS WEEK:
Vanderbilt @ #16 Georgia 11:30
Vandy has had a rough time of it lately, as last week they amassed almost three times as many yards offense as their opponent and STILL managed to lose. The ‘Dores don’t have much of a chance in this one, especially because the Bulldogs will be out for blood. It sucks for Vandy that they are meeting Georgia right after the ass-whooping the Vols gave the Dawgs. Georgia decided to play this week without a quarterback because obviously they are all terrible. Finally, to steal a line from the Auburn message boards: I think Tennessee just scored again.
Florida State @ Duke 12:00
Who really cares? I just want to see Bobba’s ‘Noles get beat by the Blue Devils, which might be possible considering the level of Shitty that Florida State has managed to play at this year. The Blue Devils nearly pulled off the win against Alabama last week, so maybe they will be pumped with FSU comes to town.
#1 Ohio State @ Michigan State 2:30 ABC
Ohio State continues to be the real deal as they roll over “The Implosion Squad.” John L. Smith will be sending resumes out very soon, since his team can’t focus on anything other than defending their field against a flag planting. Maybe they should try defending their end zone against the other team’s effortless scoring.
Ole Miss @ Alabama 2:30 CBS
A few weeks ago, we gave you the Battle for the Third Spot in the SEC West race. Alabama lost that one, so this week, we give you … DRUMROLL PLEASE … yep, you guessed it, the battle for the fourth spot in the SEC West! This is also known as the much coveted “best team in the bottom half of the division.” Ole Miss is pretty bad this year, but Alabama has been looking just about as bad. Again, I will reiterate the fact that Alabama trailed Duke last week for the majority of the game. It is pretty sad when you have to stage a come-from-behind victory against a team you should have beaten by seventy-six points. Mike Shula has already updated his resume using John L. Smith’s as a template just in case.
Florida Int’l @ Miami 6:00
Florida International has got to be thinking that this is finally their year to beat the ‘Canes. Miami is horrendous, and Coker is soon to be jobless. Stay tuned for next fall’s new show, “The Saturday Drinking Squad” featuring John L. Smith, Mike Shula, and Larry Coker.
Fairly Obvious Game of the Week: #2 Florida @ #11 Auburn 6:45 ESPN
Help me Auburn Tigers. Tennessee needs Florida to have two losses in order to have a shot at the SEC title. Every week, this hope becomes a little bit smaller, especially after last week’s defeat of LSU. This week, I hope the Auburn Tigers will show up to play some football like they know how. Since Tuberville was looking ahead to Florida and managed to lose to Arkansas in the process, I look for them to be prepared. They have been getting ready for two weeks, for pete sakes. PLEASE … SOMEONE … STOP … TIM … TEBOW!!!!!! Hopefully he doesn’t pull off any double pump falling backwards one yard passes this week on Auburn’s defensive backs. Chris Leak has somehow come into enough money to convince the analysts to keep mentioning him in the same sentence as “Heisman” so I think the NCAA should start looking for some violations. Chris Leak, again, isn’t even the best quarterback in the SEC.
Michigan/Penn St. and Kentucky/LSU get honorable mention this week, but I just don’t have the energy to write about them. Celebrating Tennessee’s win has just plumb tired me out.
