The Longest Yard remake?

Somewhere, there is an ex-linebacker prison guard licking his lips at the opportunity to get a hold of the 2007 version of Paul Crewe in Falcons QB Mike Vick. The thuggish, ‘street cred’ version of Vick, which undoubtedly started when he shed the Michael in lieu of his Tyson namesake, should prove great ratings on ESPN2 when the prison guards lace it up against the convicts. Something tells me that if O.J. Simpson could do it all over again he would enter a guilty plea with hopes of returning to gridiron glory in the penitentiary. Think about the talent level in the draft pool with Vick, Orenthal James and half of the University of Miami football program circa 1980-present compared to the law enforcement side. If the warden is smart, he will use his number 1 pick on part-time copper Shaquille O’Neal, while hiring Tim Robbins as team accountant.

Needless to say it will be light years before Darth Goodell will let Mike back into the NFL fray. Among the many NFL occurrences in Vick’s absence, younger brother Marcus Vick will avenge the suspension of his older sibling and clear the Vick family name by actually playing a down. Unfortunately, the younger Vick’s NFL lifespan will be short lived when he blindsides an airborne frisbee dog at halftime of his first game.

I predict the Miami Dolphins and the Miami P.D. will conspire to bring back Marcus Vick under the premise, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Miami police detective Ace Ventura will be assigned to the case.